I made a mistake

Sep.2.24 - Day 2164 - I made a mistake

Versions of you. There are many versions of you. The work you. The home you. The you when you’re by yourself. The you that exists in other people’s heads. All of these version of you exist. They’re different, yet the same. Some people have a certain impression of you based on the tiny interactions you’ve had. Others like your family have seen you you’re whole life. They know most of the versions of you, but definitely not all of them. They saw one last night that only my friends have known. The dark alcohol version of me. The one who drinks a little too much and ends the nigh with gaps in his memory. The one who needs to throw up when he gets home because he mixed too much liquor. They saw that version last night and it wasn’t good. I made a mistake. Took it too far. Let my ego and pride of drinking like I did in Scotland get in the way of having a great night. I should’ve stopped much earlier and I didn’t. Didn’t realize how far I kept going. It’s happened too many times in my life and it’s not something i’m proud of. But it is me. It is part of who I am. Maybe it’s my way to release. Maybe it’s the way I let go. Maybe it’s my mind telling me to always push myself. I don’t know. All I do know is I’m not proud of that version of me. I have to fix that.

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