The Courage to Be Disliked
Kishimi and Koga  

Summary

How to live life authentically and stop worrying about what other people think. The teachings of Alfred Adler, one of the most famous psychologists of the 20th century.

Notes

None of us live in an objective world but a subjective world that we give meaning to

Your life is something you choose yourself and you are the one who decides how to live

People are not driven by past causes but goal they themselves set

All problems are interpersonal relationship problems

Feelings of inferiority we have are subjective interpretations by our mind

Pursuit of serendipity is to try and be the best and when you don’t make it, people have feelings of inferiority

The one who boasts does so only out of a feeling of inferiority - Adler

You’re the only one worrying about your appearance

It’s not what what is born with but what use one makes of the equipment

Deny the desire for recognition

If you are not living your life for yourself, who is going to live it for you?

Separate other people’s tasks from your task

Ask ‘who’s task is this?’ If it's someone else’s, don’t intervene. If it’s yours, don’t let anyone else intervene

‘Freedom is being disliked by other people’

The courage to be happy induces the courage to be disliked

You are part of a community, not its centre. You’re not the centre of the world

The more one is praised by another person, the more one forms the belief that one has no ability

Focus on what one can change, not what one cannot

Place unconditional confidence in other people in all relationships

Happiness is the feeling of contribution as determined by you

Don’t treat life as a line but a series of dots each representing moments or experiences

The greatest life life is to not live in the present, here and now

‘Life has no meaning. Whatever meaning life has must be assigned to it by an individual’ - Alfred Adler

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