For others:

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For others.

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Life is about others.

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What you do for others.

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What you do in service of others.

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Yes, you need to care about yourself first.

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You need to make sure you’re good.

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Put on your own mask before assisting someone else.

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But once you’ve done that, you will be miserable only chasing your own goals.

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Miserable.

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Lonely.

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Bored.

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Sad.

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The chase will be fun.

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The goals will be great to accomplish.

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You’ll feel great temporarily.

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Then it will disappear.

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Poof.

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Remember that happening to me when I published my 2 books.

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Finished 2 books in a summer.

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One was a collection of poetry I’d already written, so you could argue it was done.

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But the second was completely from scratch.

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From ideation to published book you could buy on Amazon in a few months.

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Had wanted to be a published author for years.

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Accomplished it.

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And it was flat.

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I remember that day vividly.

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So many people reached out.

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Congratulated me.

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Had so many positive things to say.

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But at the end of the day, as happy as I was, there was a moment of…

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That’s it?

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That’s what I wanted?

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I celebrated.

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Then quickly moved on.

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My career coach actually said this was a problem I have.

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I don’t celebrate enough.

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I do something.

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Accomplish it.

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Then move on.

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She actually told me to celebrate more.

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Didn’t get it at the time.

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But now I understand it.

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Life is about achieving with others.

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Not yourself.

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Had an epic meal a few weeks back when I was in London.

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Wanted to treat myself.

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Big foodie.

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Have no problem paying hundreds of dollars for a great food experience.

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Been lucky to go to several Michelin-star restaurants.

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So wanted something awesome when I went to London.

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Found the Ledbury.

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A restaurant that got its third michelin star in 2024.

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A 3 star michelin meal.

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None of my friends were available so went alone.

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One of the few times I’ve been out to eat alone.

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Had an awesome 10-course meal.

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Sat for 2 hours and 45 minutes.

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Just me enjoying this experience.

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Tried not to be on my phone.

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Took in what I saw around me.

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People watched.

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Watched the waiters and chef in action.

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But it was just me.

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No one else.

Had a great time but would it have been better sharing it with someone else?

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1 million percent.

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It reminded me of a meal I went to with one of my best friends in Paris a few years ago.

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We got in to David Toutaint, a 2 star michelin restaurant in Paris.

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Only vegetarian.

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17 course menu.

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And did the wine pairing.

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Side note: if you’re going to do a tasting meal like this, do the wine pairing. Completely changes the experience and so worth the extra money. The pairings are so unique and some will be incredible. 

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Incredible meal I’ll remember the rest of my life.

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Told my friend at the end ‘This was a religious experience.

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This was inspiring.

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I now want to work harder so I can do this again.’

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Literally a meal so good it’s inspired me to work harder.

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But the best part of the meal was sharing it with him.

We had an awesome conversation over the course of 3.5 hours.

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Didn’t check our phones.

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Engaged.

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Laughing.

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Asking deep questions.

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It was incredible.

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Was telling another friend about this experience

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When he asked me about happiness.

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It reminded me of one of my biggest lessons of the last few years.

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At the end of 2023, I had a conversation with my therapist where she asked me.

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When were you happiest this year?

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2 memories came to mind.

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Both funnily enough in India on separate wedding trips.

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One was on a Friday night dancing with my family in the house where India’s independence was signed in New Delhi.

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Couldn’t believe I was there and to be drinking and dancing to Bollywood music with my close family all around.

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Felt like a dream.

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The second was at the end of the year on a different trip to India for a separate wedding.

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It was me and a friend singing the words to ‘Break - All of the Lights’ by Childish Gambino together in our hotel room before going to a wedding event.

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This was a friend who was in a dark place a few years prior.

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Like really dark.

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And yet here we were together in a hotel room in Goa singing the song that bonded us in university. 

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So my therapist said ‘what’s in common between those two?’

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First laughed and said they were both in India but then was stumped.

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She said 

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‘They were both with other people.

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They weren’t about you.

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It was because you were around people you cared about having a great time.’

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That’s it.

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That’s the point.

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The point of all of this.

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To love and be loved.

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To share this life with those closest to you while enjoying incredible experiences.

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It’s not to be alone.

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It’s not to conquer your mountain.

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It’s not to accomplish all your goals for yourself.

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It’s to do it for others.

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It’s to do it with others.

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It’s to do it because of others.

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Your peak life experiences are not about you.

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It’s for others.

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