5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman
Summary
A fantastic book that pioneered different forms of love. One that I'd recommend for everyone, so important to understand your partner's love language
Rating: 5/5
Notes
You must be willing to learn your partner’s primary love language if you are to be an effective communicator of love (like speaking the same language)
‘Inside every child is an emotional tank waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he/she will develop normally but when the love track is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehaviour of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘lovetank’’ - Ross Campbell
The emotional need for love is not just a childhood phenomenon - this follows into love and marriage
Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love
The average lifespan of romantic obsession is 2 years
Love language 1: words of affirmation
- The tongue has the power of life and death - Solomon
- Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love
- When we receive affirming words, we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate
To develop an intimate relationship, you must know the other person’s desires
The love language of one person is not necessarily the love language of the other
Love Language 2 - quality time
- Quality time means giving someone your undivided attention, not just watching TV or being around them
- A central aspect of quality time is togetherness, meaning focused attention
- Marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve
- To learn the language of quality conversations, start with the emotions you feel away from home
Love language 3 - receiving gifts
- If your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts, become a proficient gift giver. It’s one of the easiest love languages to learn
- Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts
- Keep a gift idea note book
- Try giving your partner a gift a day for a week
Love language 4 - acts of service
- Acts of service means doing things you know your partner would like you to do. You seek to please her by serving her and express your love by doing things for her
- Requests give direction to love but demands stop the flow of love
- What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage
Your partner’s criticism about your behaviour provide the clearest clue to their primary love language
Love language 5 - physical touch
- Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love
- If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries
- Most sexual problems in marriage have little to do with physical technique but everything to do with meeting emotional needs
- For females, sexual desire is rooted in her emotions, not her physiology
- For males, sexual desire is physically based
Spend time writing down your primary love language then list the other 4 in order of importance
To find out, ask what your partner does that hurts you deeply, what you have most often requested in your partner and in what ways do you regularly express love?
Play the tank check game with your partner - ask them on a scale from 0-10 how filled their love tank is and what you can do to increase it? Then let them do the same
When an action doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love
Children have the same primary love language as adults
Observe your children. Watch how they express love to others. That is a clue to their love language
Do profile quiz at the end of the book once in a relationship to understand love language
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Buy the book here
Free E-book download here
Make Something Wonderful
Steve Jobs
Summary
The life of Steve Jobs in his own words
Rating: 5/5
Notes
Make something wonderful and put it out there
‘You appear, have a chance to blaze in the sky, then you disappear’
When you’re a stranger in a place, you notice thing you don’t otherwise (Jobs after India trip)
Whenever you start with nothing, always shoot for the moon. You have nothing to lose.
You never achieve what you want without falling on your face a few times
Never be afraid to fail. You never achieve what you want without falling flat on your face a few times
We are never taught to listen to our intuitions, to develop and nurture them. But if you do pay attention to these subtle insights, you can make them come true
Creativity equals connecting previously unrelated experiences and insights others don’t see
Believe that some of what you follow with your heart will come back and make your life richer. And it will. And you will gain even firmer trust on your instincts and intuitions
Make your avocation your vocation. Make what you love your work.
The journey is the reward. The reward isn’t in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it’s in crossing the rainbow
To find A+ talent, if experienced, look at their track record and results
The world we know is a human creation and we can push it forward
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do (read whole ad ‘here’s to the crazy ones)
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit - Aristotle
Hire people better than you are
You can’t plan to meet the people who will change your life
It’s impossible to connect the dots looking forward, but they make sense looking backwards so you have to trust the dots will somehow connect in your future
Everything around you that you call life was made up by people no smarter than you
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Buy the book here
Free E-book download here
