25 lessons:

This past year I turned 25 and for several days, I’ve been thinking about this number.  25 years on this floating rock in space, trying to manoeuvre through this thing we call life. I just keep thinking about how lucky I am to have lived the life I have, while only being 25.

This is just some of what I’ve been able to experience:

·     I skipped a grade when I was 5

·     I grew up in a loving family that was able to give me all the opportunities that anyone can ask for

·     I’ve traveled to 55+ countries and every continent in the world except for Antarctica

·     Since 2012, I’ve lived in 3 countries (Canada, Scotland and the Netherlands) across 2 continents

·     I left home at 17 to move halfway around the world for university

·     I studied at 2 world-class institutions for 6 years, eventually graduating from medical school to become a doctor

·     Decided medicine wasn’t for me and left it all for a career in venture capital; a job I barely even understood

·     Since the career switch, I’ve read almost 100 non-fiction books in the last 2 years, started a podcast, and created a website

·     Fortunate enough to attend an NBA finals game in my hometown, a US Open semi-final and multiple Liverpool home games

Through it all, I’ve been able to experience failure and success. This definitely feels like a humble brag but I’m merely highlighting it to show how fortunate I’ve been. It reeks of privilege, but for it all, I’m so grateful. For how lucky I was to be able to experience all of this. Most of it, I attribute to my family and good fortune (born healthy, loving family, could afford to send me to school internationally, loved to travel) but there’s some hard work in there as well.

So reflecting on 25, I wanted to write about the 25 biggest things I have taken from my experiences so far (in no particular order). A lot of what I’ve learned is obviously based on my perceptions and biases, but I do hope there are things that resonate with you.  

1. Human beings are irrational – Think about your own biases and perceptions of reality before trying to become smart. Most people think they’re objective but your view of the world is based entirely on your own subjective experiences and surroundings. Arguments are generally not worth it because it’s very difficult to change a person’s mind; it takes a lot of time.

2. Challenge your belief system – Humans tend to follow and associate with people that think like them. It’s called an echo chamber. You could argue that’s the reason we have so much divide in politics around the world because it always feels like you can’t comprehend the other side. Remember, you have to step inside the other person’s shoes and understand the perspective they’re trying to come from. At the end of the day, most people have good intentions, care about their family and are mostly trying to survive. Stop thinking that your view of the world is the only one. Diversity of thought is the only way to progress.

3. Read more – Don’t think I can stress enough of how much reading fundamentally changed my life. It feels like a cheat code. The foundation of learning is reading. Someone else has already figured out everything you need to know about life, whether it is relationships, human nature, success, etc. If you synthesize that information and combine it with your personal experiences, you can do anything

4. Learn from the best – Find people in your field, or even just in general that have achieved what you want and learn from them. Read their books, learn their stories, listen to their podcasts and read their articles. Understand how they make decisions and their habits. They’ve been able to achieve what you’re dreaming of so why wouldn’t try to emulate their path?

5. Stop watching the news - Where do I even start. News organizations are designed to get viewers, not to tell you the truth. Actually, let’s call it ‘their truth’ because everything written or seen is done from a perspective that picks specific facts in order to bolster an argument. They continuously try to drive fear into your mind that the world is a bad place, because you’ll continue to watch it. Humans like watching train-wrecks more than watching their kids at a beach. But aren’t you happier if you know your kids are safe at a beach? As they say, ‘if it’s not bleeding, it ain’t leading.’ Trust me, your life will be a lot happier as soon as you cut back.

6. Don’t listen to people’s words, watch their actions – Humans talk a lot of crap. They’re constantly telling someone else or themselves excuses why they can or can’t do something. But until they actually do it, how are you supposed to trust their opinion? Actions always speak louder than words.

7. Meditate – I was very skeptical for a long time. But this has probably changed my life the most. It forces you to process your emotions and understand that you merely exist in the world around you. The most powerful organ in the body, your brain, controls everything you perceive. If you could hack it to control your feelings, emotions, self-talk, thoughts and decisions, why would you not try to? For more on the benefits of meditation, see here

8. Live in the moment – Goes hand in hand with meditation and this idea of being present, but enjoy the moments. Enjoy the little things.The spending time with family, the trips to the grocery store, the hanging out with friends because you never know when your whole life can change. Life goes by so quickly. If you don’t stop and look around, you’ll miss it.

9. Stay Humble – Don’t forget how much luck plays a factor in your life. Whether you’re at the top or bottom, a large portion of your path is based on things entirely outside of your control. Celebrate your achievements but don’t let that distract from the fact that you weren’t responsible for a 100% of that outcome. Recognize how much other people play a role in your achievement and be grateful for them.

10. Take more risks - I’ve been fortunate enough to live in a system where I’ve benefitted from the privilege of having the ability to take risks. I’m aware a lot of people can’t take them, but at least take minor risks. Try a new hobby, step outside of your comfort zone, push yourself to do something you normally wouldn’t. You’ll realize how much more you can accomplish if you just trust your gut and believe in yourself.

11. Think bigger – We’re limited by our perceptions of what’s around us. Think about how much your life is influenced by your family, friends and coworkers. If you don’t step outside of your comfort zone and explore new experiences, you’ll never understand how much you can achieve. You begin to realize that although you’re just an insignificant cog in the machine, you truly do have the power to do anything you want.

12. Travel more – This goes a lot with the previous one and the simple premise is this; go explore an area you’ve never seen. Explore the culture; understand the environment, live like a local in a developing part of the world. When you come back, you’ll realize how lucky you are to be living the life you have been. To be able to experience different places is a blessing that’ll push you to understand humanity from a completely different perspective.

13. Invest in relationships – The world’s longest study on happiness found that the number one reason people died happy was because of the relationships they kept. Don’t lose those key ones with your family and friends. Especially those that have watched you grow up. Spend time with them, go out of your way for them. Your life is going to be so much more fulfilling if you’re celebrating and spending time with the people you love.

14. Never stop asking questions – Too often we conform to the status quo. ‘Well it’s been done this way for so long, so why would we change it?’ Challenge that belief. Challenge that thinking. Ask why has it been done this way and where does that belief come from? The answers will guide you to new ideas that will allow you to see opportunities you didn’t even consider

15. Invest in yourself – The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself. You’re the one in your own head every day trying to navigate this world. Don’t you want to be a better person? Learn more, achieve more, be happier, have better relationships with your family and friends? Work on yourself. Read, exercise, and learn about these things because they’re all out there. The only person that’s going to benefit is you.

16. Automate your savings – Personal finance was never taught in school, and it’s foolish. One hack: automate your savings. I promise, spending 5 minutes of your time right now to automate 10% of your paycheck into an account you don’t touch makes you believe that that money doesn’t even exist in the first place. Over time, that money can accumulate to more than you even could imagine.

17. Dedicate time away from work – Unless you work in a hospital and you’re on-call dealing with sick patients that could die, your job is not that important. Yes, you have to stick to deadlines and meet certain objectives, but don’t let that get in the way of having committed time for you. To spend on the things you like and enjoy. It’s fine when you’re in your 20s and you have all this energy, but you will not find it great in your 30s & 40s when you’re burning out.

18. Exercise/workout – Just get your heart moving. Walking, running, cross-fit, climbing, swimming, sword fighting, whatever it is. As long as you do that for 30 minutes a day a couple times a week, your body will thank you when you’re older. The key is to maintain that habit and integrate into your everyday life. Everyone has 30 minutes extra to spend. ‘If you don’t make time for exercise now, you will make time for illness later.’

19. Workout your brain – If you want to get bigger muscles, you push your muscles to a point where they hurt, then over time they grow in size. Your brain is the same thing. If you don’t challenge your mind, how are you supposed to make it grow? The counterargument is ‘I don’t want to make my brain grow’ but don’t you want to think better, understand more about the world, and be a better person? Whether it’s crosswords, documentaries or reading, find something that forces your brain to learn something new.

20. Use Google – I don’t know if people, and students in particular understand how powerful this tool can be. Anytime I had a question growing up, I just asked Google. All the information in human history is accessible through a Google search. If you ask other people too many questions, they tend to get annoyed. So just ask Google, it’ll never get annoyed. (They’ll collect your data, but that’s an aside)

21. Your word is your strongest asset – This comes down to trustworthiness and reliability. Whether it’s at work, at home or with family, can the person across from you trust you with your word? As soon as you break that promise, people never forget how you disappointed them. Don’t disappoint people because then you’ll only disappoint yourself

22. Internal motivation is the key driver – Focus on what drives you. What do you enjoy and like. Not what your family, your friends, your aunt, your distant cousin or the tiger at the zoo likes. But what do you like. External motivation – proving to other people that you have something to show them, only makes you so happy. It caps your happiness. At the end of the day people are selfish and only care about themselves. Doing it for others is never going to make you fulfilled.

23. Figure out the right incentives – You could argue everything in life comes down to incentives. What do you get out of any interaction with another human being, other than to figure out how they’re most beneficial to your life? Align your incentives with those of the people around you and you’ll be happier and more successful.

24. Live life on your terms - You only have one life, yours. Not your parents, not your friends, not the people on the Internet. They don’t live your life, you do. Stop doing things for them. Do them for you. Listen to them because those closest to you mostly have your best interest at heart, but think independently. Whether or not you choose to make positive or negative decisions, just make sure you gather all the information before trying to come to a conclusion.

25. Have fun – What’s the point of any of this if you can’t have fun? If you can’t laugh once in a while and smile when you walk outside. Do things that make you happy. Actively make sure that you’re spending time doing them. Our phones are distracting us from spending time in the world so get rid of them as much as possible and do things that make you glean from cheek to cheek.

Keep going, you’re doing great.

-AK

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