Commit

Commit.

Commit to something.

Commit to anything.

But commit.

Stop waiting on the sidelines.

Stop waiting for someone else to save you.

Stop waiting for the external validation we’re all looking for.

No one is coming to save you.

It is you against you.

As Naval said, life is a single-player game.

You’re born alone.

Die alone.

You have a bunch of sensory experiences in between.

And how you choose to interpret those is up to you.

But you do have a choice.

A choice of deciding what you want.

Life doesn’t just happen for you.

You have to make it happen.

That comes with commitment.

Commitment to a cause.

Commitment to a goal.

Commitment to something.

I’m going through a mini-crisis right now.

Just like a lot of friends my age.

Have had this conversation multiple times in the last few weeks with different friends.

Some of whom have been very successful.

Others who are lost.

Lost in the comfort of the mundane.

Waking up every day not sure what they’re doing.

Not sure where they’re going.

Not sure what they want.

I’m struggling with the same.

Even though I have ideas.

I have goals.

I have an Ironman to finish.

And yet, I have been plagued.

Plagued with this question of what’s next.

What am I going to do after the Ironman?

I’m no longer at a job I was at for almost 6 years.

That’s a long time for anyone to be anywhere.

So that part of my identity is gone.

Obliterated.

Destroyed.

No longer there.

A core piece of me does not exist anymore and never will.

I have to start new.

I have to start again.

From scratch.

At 30.

That’s terrifying.

And yet exciting.

Because the world is open.

I could do anything.

Go anywhere.

Be anything.

But I’m stuck.

Stuck with the choice paradox.

So many things to do.

So many movies to watch.

So many snacks to choose in the grocery store.

So which one should you choose?

It doesn’t matter.

But you have to make a choice.

You have to decide what feels right in the moment.

And go for it.

No matter what happens, good or bad, you will figure it out.

You always have.

Humans are extremely adaptable.

We have been our entire history.

And yet today it feels like we’re plagued with so much anxiety.

So much going on in the world.

So much fear.

So much war.

So much destruction.

But this has existed forever.

It always has.

And always will.

You can’t focus on that.

Otherwise you will be destroyed by it.

Instead, you must focus on yourself.

On your choices.

On your actions.

On your commitments.

Decide to do something.

And go do it.

Try something new.

Try something you’ve never done before.

Start with an initial commitment.

One class.

One workout.

One piece of art.

Then commit to longer.

To a little bit more.

To going just beyond what you think is possible.

Hold yourself accountable, because no one else will.

No one has been there next to me this entire journey.

Sure I’ve had tons of support, but at the end of the day, it’s me against me.

This is a test.

How much do you really want it?

How far are you willing to commit?

No one else is waking up at 6 am 3 days in a row on the weekend, getting ready to swim 3 kilometres, bike 100k and run 25k.

That’s just me.

This was the biggest weekend I’ve had so far.

But the first one where I realized - I can do this!

Saw 90k on my watch while biking and thought ‘holy shit, I’m only halfway for the Ironman’

And yet, I knew I could do it.

I knew if I locked in my nutrition and took my time, I could finish.

I’m too far gone now.

There is no turning back.

There is no other choice.

I’m committed.

And I will honour it.

No matter what it takes to get to the end.

Commit.

This week in training - (Follow me on Strava here):

Swimming - 5.3k. Two sessions this week. Cut one short as the community centre pool was super busy. My normal pool is closed for maintenance for a month so went to a Toronto one in the morning for my long swim and was actually pretty decent. Still not feeling super fast on the long swims but did watch a video about synchronizing my kicking so going to try that this week and see how it goes. Know there’s more room to improve so have to shake it up.

Biking - 137k - really good biking this week, including a 107k long ride on Saturday. Made it to lake simcoe (50k one way) and felt great about it. most of the ride was good but felt tired at the end so know I need to increase my nutrition, as I thought I could get away with it. Legs felt decent after too, just a bit tired but nothing too crazy. Much longer ride to come this week.

Running - 35.2k - heavier run week. Legs felt pretty good throughout. Long run was tiring towards the end and definitely tired the next day, more so than I had before. Still keeping good pace, no nagging injury issues so need to keep prioritizing my rest, especially this next month.

Notes from Week 23 of training:

• Good build week including a big training weekend. The next one to come is going to really be a big one, especially with a friend coming to visit, but excited about this week.
• Nutrition was solid this week, besides the long bike. Lessons learned for sure. Can’t forget nutrition, especially early on in the bike ride when I was feeling good. Didn’t have a ton of my carb drink or snacks early when I felt good on the bike and suffered towards the end when people have said by then it’s too late. Need to remember to overload at the beginning and add more snacks in between, especially for the rides over 4 hours.
• Decent swimming this week. Feel like I’m regressing a bit. Getting a bit slower on the longer swims. Know that is normal and want to try this new technique, especially with timing the kicks, but also need to remember that the key on race day is to finish at a good pace where you don’t feel too tired. So it’s good that my long swims have been at a decent pace. Did get humbled a bit at the Toronto pool when I was told to get out of the fast lane because I was too slow.
• Good biking week. First 100k+ ride outside. Awesome weather for it and really happy with the result. Key again will be nutrition, especially as you pass the 100k mark so just need to remember to take my time and make sure I’m fueling my body properly.
• Decent run week. Heavier runs this week, including longer long runs so legs definitely felt it today, but overall no lingering injuries.
• Movies - no movies again this week. Finished Hacks which was great, then started Season 2 of ‘The Rehearsal’ which has been so fascinating so far. One of the better, more strange shows I’ve ever seen but definitely worth checking out.
• Good week overall. Another few lessons to be learned, especially with the bike nutrition. Otherwise no issues and have to remember to take my time. The weekends are getting longer and more tiring so need to make sure I’m prioritizing rest. Did wake up today feeling more tired than I had before and was upset with myself, but do also have to remind myself that this is a normal feeling considering the amount you’re putting your body through. 3 straight days of 3.3k in the pool, 107k on the bike and running 24k is a huge effort on the body so you do need the proper rest. Another big build week to come so let’s see how we do.

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