Don’t pre-judge:
Don’t pre-judge.
We’re quick to rush to judgments.
We assume someone is the way WE think they are.
We’re quick to judge.
Quick to assume.
Quick to imagine another person like our mind tells us.
But, people are complicated.
People are not who you think they are.
For good and bad.
Malcolm Gladwell told the world in ‘Talking to Strangers.’
The way we see people has nothing to do with how they are.
Two stories chronicled in that book stick out.
One is Amanda Knox.
This woman who was quiet, scared and on her own in an Italian prison was made out to be this devious sexual murderer when she wasn’t at all.
Meanwhile, Ana Montes, was this good-looking, smart, honest Spanish girl working for the CIA who turned out to be one of the biggest double-agents in US history.
Things are not always as they seem.
It’s hard getting dismissed based on one interaction.
But there’s nothing you can do.
I reached out to someone recently to see if we could go on a second date.
Made the case that our first one was solid and we should give it another go to see if we like each other.
That was shot down immediately.
She said our communication styles were different.
This girl assumed who I was based on one interaction.
She didn’t want to give me a chance to change her mind.
Goodbye.
It’s her loss.
If someone isn’t willing to meet you halfway and give you a chance, turn around immediately.
You want someone who is not quick to judge.
Someone who does not assume you are one person when you may be someone completely different.
You want someone willing to take a chance.
Who’s willing to be patient and get to know you.
If someone doesn’t want you, you shouldn’t want them.
Let them pre-judge.
Let them think they know you.
Let them assume that you won’t get along.
You can’t change their opinion.
And you don’t have to.
As long as you brought your authentic self to the interaction, you have nothing to regret.
Never change who you are to be accepted by someone.
Always be your authentic self.
Those who want to be in your life will.
The others won’t.
Forget about them.
They can judge you all they want.
They don’t know you.
They don’t understand you.
They’re not willing to give you a shot.
So leave them.
Let them go.
But also, don’t be like them.
Be open to change.
Be open to changing your perception of people.
Let them show you who they are.
Not with their words but their actions.
Don’t be so quick to judge.
Don’t pre-judge.