Get feedback:

Get feedback.

Met a friend today who works at another venture fund.

We both entered the VC world at the same time in 2018 and she recently left her job.

She’s re-considering her career path and what she really wants out of life.

She’s doing the work to understand herself.

A lot of people never do it.

Saw her today and she asked me an interesting question:

‘Hey Anish, this may seem like a weird question but would love it if you could give me feedback on who I am?’

I was shocked.

I’d never heard anyone ask someone else for feedback on themselves.

I told her I’d only answer if she gave me the same feedback for myself.

I told her my opinion and she appreciated it.

It lined up with what she thought but learned a few key insights.

Then she gave me my feedback.

When she initially met me, she said I was a bit intense, but clearly driven.

Worked my ass off.

Had conviction about what I believe in but open to hearing different opinions.

Goes deep into the science and really cares.

Give more than I take.

Then she mentioned something at the end that initially took me by surprise.

She said when she asks other VCs about me, I’m known for being a writer.

I’m known online as having a specific personality. 

One that is random, all over the place and not in line with who I am as a person.

She said my online personality does not match with my real personality.

Good.

That’s exactly what I want.

I want to be misunderstood.

No one really knows what’s going on in someone else’s head.

No one.

We all have an opinion of people based on what we see but we have no idea who they really are.

She said that my brand doesn’t match my personality right now. 

She doesn’t know what I stand for. She’s confused by my online personality.

This is exactly what I wanted.

This was the goal.

Be random.

Be unique.

Walk your own path.

I explained that all of this is by design. I intentionally didn’t want to share everything I’d done because dealing with the distribution and social media comments is not important to me right now.

My time will come.

I’m solely focused on writing. The distribution element will come.

Everyone’s in a rush.

I’m in no rush.

Life is long and life is short.

I’ve already done the work.

The next stage is just translating it into other forms of media and other languages.

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That’s the easy part.

But it was so refreshing to hear that feedback.

I’m misunderstood.

I now have confirmation I am.

I love it.

When you do something different, expect the hate. 

Expect to be misunderstood.

That’s part of the process.

We ended the conversation with me explaining to her that at the end of the day, I can’t control what anyone thinks of me.

I can only control the effort I put into my work.

Everything else is outside of my control.

But if I’m happy with what I’m doing, why is anyone else’s opinion relevant to me?

It doesn’t matter.

Control the effort and forget about everything else.

Yet what I loved about this whole interaction was the question.

I’d never heard anyone be asked for feedback on who they are.

We’re blinded by who we are but yet never ask our close friends and family how we are perceived in the world.

We’re all trapped in our own perceptions that we forget about how we seem to others.

It was a great question.

So ask those around you, how are you perceived in the world?

Get feedback.