Day 1679 - May.5.23 - Grieft shows up in many ways

Grief doesn’t stop. It shows up in many ways. It shows up when you least expect it. Feel it. Let it out. Let your body go. You can’t push it down. You can’t suppress it. You can’t keep it under control. It comes and goes. Haven’t felt like that for him in so long. Been almost a year and a half since his death and yet I didn’t think I’d be thinking about him tonight. I didn’t know an interview with Ed Sheeran talking about his loss was going to affect me like that. I wrote it down. I got it out. I didn’t let the feeling and emotion consume me. You have to let go. Let go of the idea of who you’re supposed to be. Who people know you as. What reputation you have to upkeep. You have no control over how they feel about you. Zero. So why not feel like a real human being and grieve when you have to. It’s ok. It’s good. We all need a good cry once in a while. Didn’t think it was going to be tonight. Miss you dude. Miss you so much. Wish you were here to watch all this craziness in the world unfold. It’s getting wild out here and wanted you here to see it. Know you’re up there smiling down on me. Love you man and miss you all the time.

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