Most people suck:

Most people suck.

People are inherently selfish.

We all are.

But you only really understand how selfish people are when you need them most.

Was talking to my sister today about her 21st birthday at university.

She invited 30 people to the party, 27 showed up at the beginning and by the end of the night for her cake, there were only 7 people left.

20 ‘friends’ came to her 21st champagne birthday and left.

Some friends they are.

She was crying while talking because she didn’t realize how selfish people are.

So many people told her at her party that they were leaving.

One of her best friends in particular, who she’s known for years, told her she was going to another house party and asked her to come.

How fucking stupid do you have to be to ask someone whose birthday it is to leave their own party?

Another group who she’s known for 8 years came, left after an hour then had the audacity to show up again at 3 am because they were sleeping at her house.

Rough.

As I was listening to her story, I couldn’t help but remember university.

People can suck, especially when you’re in university.

There are a lot of fake relationships and friendships that are built on superficial conversations. That’s fine, we all know those people.

But the worst is when you’ve known someone for so many years and they still treat you like shit, especially when you need them.

I’ll never forget university. I booked an entire trip for 7 people including flights, hotels and transport across 6 countries in Europe over 2.5 weeks, and no one said thank you.

Not one single person on that trip thanked me for the effort.

Instead of appreciation, I got criticized because a flight was delayed.

However, people learn over time how important some people are to their lives.

The problem is we don’t tell them.

We don’t show enough appreciation.

It’s not even words because anyone can say anything.

But how do you act?

What are you like when someone really needs you?

Are you going to show up when someone really needs you or are you going to make some excuse as to why you can’t do it?

That’s when you realize who really matters and who doesn’t.

It’s easy in university to just hang out with people and consider them your friends because you run in the same group.

It’s very different as you grow up because you have to make an effort.

Leaving university and becoming an adult has made me realize how much effort you have to put into your friendships.

It’s no longer convenient to see the friends you used to see every day, so are you going to make the effort?

Most people are lazy.

They expect other people to make the effort.

And that’s fine for so long.

Think about this, if you’re the one constantly making the effort and the other person is not reciprocating, do you really still want to keep that relationship?

Nah.

If someone doesn’t make the effort with you, why are you making it for them?

We don’t realize this lesson until we get burned enough times.

I saw it so often with my mom.

She was the one who always went out of her way.

She loves organizing things.

She loves getting people together.

But she’s been burned so many times by people not reciprocating.

Maybe it’s an Indian thing but I was always brought up with this idea that if someone makes an effort; you at least put in the same effort back.

She’s amazing because she still has it in her heart to give more than she receives, but that doesn’t come without hurt.

What I’ve learned from her is no matter what, you have to keep giving.

Give more than you receive.

Be one of those people who goes a little bit the extra mile.

Sure there will be many times where it’s not reciprocated.

I’ll never forget getting Christmas cards and gifts for my work colleagues and having some of them never thank me.

Even to this day, I’m always the one to ask about their lives and their trips. Yet they’ve never said happy birthday to me and have never asked me about my vacations.

A few times I’ve asked myself why I even do it, what’s the point?

But you have to keep giving.

You have to stay positive.

Every so often you’ll meet that person who gets your vibe, puts in the effort and reciprocates.

Never let those people go.

But it’s not until you’ve burned enough times that you realize spending time with people who value your friendship, are genuinely happy for you, want you to succeed and put in the effort to spend time with you is what you should be doing.

Forget about everyone else.

You can’t please everyone. You can’t be everyone’s friend.

So forget about the people who are taking advantage of you.

Focus on the good ones and invest more time in those relationships.

As you grow older you realize you only need a few good friends to have a good life.

So even though most people suck, don’t let that make you bitter.

Give more than you receive and eventually you’ll find your tribe.