What’s wrong with cancel culture?

Why are we so caught up in cancelling people?

Is it because most people are unhappy? Is it because of the Internet? Is it because of social media?

There are a lot of reasons why you could argue cancel culture has exploded.

To me, social media is at the heart of it. You can trace people’s thoughts back in time to exactly what they said at what time.

Look at what happened to Kevin Hart a few years ago with the Oscar’s controversy. People online found gay jokes he made on Twitter over a decade ago, something that he already apologized for. Then the Oscars cancelled him as the host and people online were vindicated.

So what? You’re happy a man who has worked hard his whole life to be an upstanding citizen, who’s grown into a mega star, who made a joke that was relevant and funny at the time, wasn’t able to host the Oscars? Damn, if that makes you happy, I feel bad for you.

Everyone has to walk on eggshells today. Building in public is difficult because anything you say can be immediately taken out of context and spun in whatever way people want. Why has this happened?

My thesis is that a lot of people are unhappy. They’re unhappy with their current situation and they see these people in public who are rich, famous and earning lots of money. They think ‘why are they not as miserable as me?’ Then they band together with other like minded people online and once they discover something bad about the person, they can put it out on Twitter, Reddit or another forum and get other people to dig into it. Eventually people find more information that confirms their opinion that this person is ‘bad.’ It becomes a story the media covers and turns into a vicious cycle.

Because someone said something that people find offensive today, years ago?

You’re telling me that people can’t grow? They can’t change their opinion? They’re not allowed to be different people as they mature and grow older? It’s ridiculous.

Look at Michael Jordan and old entertainers/athletes. If there were cameras and social media covering everything they were doing, everyone would be shocked. Charles Barkley has openly admitted he was grateful he didn’t play ball in the social media age because you’re not allowed to be yourself in public. You can’t screw up or make mistakes because everyone has a phone and everything can be shared online with the world immediately.

For people trying to build in public now, are they able to make mistakes? Or will everything they’ve ever done or said come back to hurt them? I’m not sure.

David Dobrik is getting ‘cancelled’ now because of a video that happened in 2018. Don’t get me wrong; what his friend in his ‘Vlog squad’ is accused of is a serious crime that apparently can be confirmed by a witness. What that guy did was disgusting and criminal. Dobrik even said at the end of the video ‘we’re going to jail.’ Not a great look David.

Right now, he’s getting dropped by brands because of something he didn’t do. This is how cancel culture works though. It becomes a spiral. Even though he’s not the one who did the crime, he’s the one who assembled the Vlog squad, he’s the one who took the videos, he’s the one who published the video online and so therefore he’s the one who’s technically responsible. Even though he’s not accused of raping anyone, it doesn’t matter. Brands can’t associate themselves with him anymore.

With cancel culture, people are not allowed to grow. We’re holding people to standards of themselves that existed years ago. They were different people back in the day in different environments with different context.

Some people should be cancelled like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein. What those guys did was criminal and they deserve to be in prison for the things that they’ve done. But most people make a bad decision in the moment and can be held to a higher standard their entire life.

I remember watching Aziz Ansari in Amsterdam talk about this at his show. For those who don’t remember, a female wrote a story on Babe.com about how Aziz coerced her into consensual sex even though she felt like he pressured her too much. For most people, that sounds like a bad date. Yet it was clear this lady at the time was looking for people to jump on her side and ‘cancel’ Aziz.

It was interesting to hear his perspective because you can tell he was extremely remorseful but a lot changed because of that incident. People distanced themselves from him, he lost friends, he lost sponsors, and he almost lost his Netflix deal. All because what sounded like a bad date.

It’s tough man. It’s tough to be in public because you’re held to a higher standard than everyone else. Why? Why do we anoint people to a higher standard who are in public? Why do we expect athletes or entertainers to be model citizens? Is it because of money? Is it because we see them on TV and therefore think they’re better than the rest of the world because they’re on TV? I don’t know.

People are forced to craft this perfect image of who they are. They’re not allowed to speak freely. They have to be ‘coached’ by PR people on specific talking points. They can’t be their authentic selves. They can’t share their real opinion.

It’s a great paradox. On one hand, if you’re a public person, you have to craft the perfect image so sponsors will speak to you, people will trust you and people want to associate with you. Yet on the other hand you’re not being you. You’re being this fake public version of you. Derek Sivers talks about this. Public you is not you. So which one do you choose? I don’t know but it seems like finding a balance is the ultimate goal.

Few people have hit that status where they’re almost un-cancellable. Dave Chappelle is a prime example. He’s built up such a following for so long that you know what he says is authentically him. He’s not hiding behind anything and he’s not holding back. I remember when the controversy started because he made a joke about trans people in one of his Netflix specials, and people online tried to cancel him. I love how he just brushed it off and his fans didn’t care. If you’re a Chappelle fan, you know what you’re getting into. He’s not trying to appease people.

The reason it became a story is because of social media. In the old days, he made tons of jokes people found offensive but because those people didn’t have a voice that could be magnified, no one cared. In today’s day and age, everyone all of a sudden has an opinion about it.

How do you get to that point where you’re un-cancellable? I don’t know. It takes years of building an audience that trusts you and values your opinion. Or it takes a level of self-esteem that cannot be broken. You have to say what you want to say no matter how many people want to cancel you. That’s a hard place to get to when everyone is watching you as a public person. But you don’t need big audiences in order to thrive anymore. As long as you have a group of a few thousand fans that trust you and listen to you, you can build a career off of that.

Don’t try and offend people but if you do, don’t stress about it. Apologize for your actions, understand why you were wrong and move on. For those people who want to hold you accountable for the rest of your life for what you did in one moment, screw ‘em. You don’t need them in your life anyway.

Because of social media, cancel culture is here to stay. Are we a better society for it?

No we’re not. How are you supposed to grow and learn from your mistakes if you don’t make them in the first place?

Don’t let it stop you from making mistakes, learning and maturing. Keep improving, and don’t hold yourself to other people’s ideal standard of who you should be. Walk your path, live your life, speak your truth and those that know will know.

Be you and cancel culture can’t cancel you.