You're already dead

You’re already dead.

Death is an inevitability.

It will come for all of us.

For some it might come in 50 years.

For others it could be tomorrow.

But we will all face that moment.

When everything we’ve done, experienced and worked for disappears.

Remembered a quote this week about death.

‘We have two lives. The second begins when you realize you only have one.’ - Confucius.

Most of us, especially in the West, never think about death.

We don’t want to talk about it.

Every time it was mentioned in my house growing up, I was always told to be quiet.

To not think about it.

To forget it.

But we can’t.

Death is inevitable.

As a kid, I never thought about death or my own mortality.

I just assumed we were gonna live for a long time.

But that is not true.

A few experiences completely changed me.

First was my grandfather passing away.

World Cup final 2010.

Getting a call after watching Spain beat the Netherlands that my grandfather in England had passed.

He died of kidney failure.

Although he didn’t live close to us (he was in Liverpool while we grew up in Canada), I always felt a special bond with him.

He was obsessed with soccer.

Especially Liverpool FC.

Talking about the history of the club and how excited it made him feel.

He was the person who got me into football.

Even though we were far apart, we used to play FIFA online against each other growing up.

Then one day we got a call, and he was gone.

Still remember my parents telling me, breaking down crying, and letting me know that I was going to fly to Liverpool to represent our family.

That funeral was an eye-opening experience.

There was one moment where the casket was open in the house and we got to see him.

His lifeless body just lying there in the family room, the place he used to watch football his whole life.

The thing that bothered me was how cold he was.

How there was nothing left to him.

His soul had gone.

Then came home and my parents held a memorial service at our local temple.

They asked me to give a speech.

That was the toughest thing I had ever done till that point.

Cried the whole way through it.

Couldn’t believe that this person so close to me was gone.

Disappeared.

Just like that.

The second experience was in university.

In 3rd year of medical school on one of my last rotations.

Was on a ward with a big group when the doctor told us one of the patients was not doing so great.

Me and a few other med students followed our doctor into his room to do an exam on him.

Finished that, stepped out for 10 minutes, then was told by the nurse.

‘Doctor, I think he’s gone.’

So we went back in his room and watched our doctor perform a death exam.

A final examination to confirm that someone is dead.

The doctor listened to his chest, checked his breathing and looked into his eyes.

He was gone.

Just like that.

The last one was the hardest.

Learning my cousin had passed.

As I’ve written throughout this blog series, he’s the biggest reason why I’ve set out on this goal.

He was my role model.

The person I looked up to the most.

He did everything right.

Was so smart.

So talented.

So driven.

Had a beautiful family.

Just had a kid.

Then boom.

Woke up one day with back pain.

Few days later and he was diagnosed with Leukemia.

A month after he had his kid.

2 years later, after fighting as much as he could, he was gone.

Just like that.

Life is not fair.

Never has been.

Death will come for all of us.

For some when we least expect it.

Everything could be going right in our lives and poof.

Something happens to us or a close friend or family member.

This life is a gift.

Always remember that.

Remember Gary Vee mentioning this once

‘Every day you wake up and you and those closest to you are healthy is a great day.’

We take our health for granted.

Take our lives for granted.

Assume we have so much more time to live.

But we don’t.

Life disappears in an instance.

And that’s it.

We were never important in the first place.

None of us are.

1 of 8 plus billion people at this time on this tiny planet in this tiny galaxy in this massive universe.

The fact that are you and I are here today is a miracle.

So never take that miracle for granted.

Don’t let your life pass you by.

Because it will.

Will end on this.

Read two books in the last few weeks that are some of my favourites of all time.

‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom.

‘When Breath Becomes Air’ by Paul Kalanithi.

Two incredible books that reminded me how short life is.

The takeaway is this.

You think you have so long.

You think your job is so important.

That making more money is everything.

That achieving success and status will make you happy.

But that stuff doesn’t matter.

Your family matters.

Your friends matter.

Experiences matter.

The people closest to you.

Spending time with them.

Not taking them for granted.

Remembering how precious life is.

Don’t take it for granted.

We only get one.

Remember, you’re already dead.

This week in training - (Follow me on Strava here):

Swimming - 5.4k - 1 x 400m, 1 x 2000m, 1 x 3000m. Didn’t complete a swim workout this week as it was March break so went late evening after a huge dinner and didn’t feel great. Time is plateauing, especially on the longer swims. Still looking to improve.

Biking - 146.1 km - another big bike week. Getting faster. Also got my bike fitted this week to add the hydration at the front and compartment for the gels. Will be outside soon. Getting better with the nutrition but man is it tough on the stomach.

Running - 26.1 km - heavier run week. Ran outside twice this week, including my long run, as the weather is getting better. Learned a lesson this week about not pushing too hard so will have to remember that going forward.

Notes from Week 10 of training:

• Getting used to the longer workouts this week, but still on progress. Missed my first workout of the year with not completing a swimming session due to March break and bad timing. Didn’t get too down on myself as I know there will be days like this, so got back to it the next day and feel good.
• Nutrition was ok this week. Stomach’s not liking all the gels and drinks, especially on Sunday with my 3k swim and 2.5 hr bike. Still more work to be done.
• Pool was ok this week. Missed a workout which felt like it cost me, especially on my 3k swim on Sunday, but not the end of the world. Felt slower this week. Nonetheless, did 3k with only one break so happy I can do that.
• Bike is getting better. Feeling faster. Nutrition during the bike I’m getting used to now and happy I’m comfortably up to 2.5 hrs.
• Heavier run week. Weather was finally good this week so ran outside. Learned a tough lesson about how much zone 2 training matters. Did my long run at a pretty fast pace and was just above my zone 2 heart rate the whole workout. Legs felt it immediately after as they were super sore (most sore I’ve been all year). It cost me the next day as I had to do 3k in the pool and 2.5 hrs on the bike with really sore legs. Even feeling it now. Need to remind myself that anaerobic training is not what you want. There’s no point in pushing yourself too hard at this point. Good lesson I’m glad I learned now.
• Finished Deli Boys (fun time pass) and Adolescence (incredibly well acted TV series; the kid’s performance in episode 3 was incredible!). Bigger movie week as I watched District 13: Ultimatum (french action movie, decent), Chaos: the Manson Murders (what a story), Risky Business (fun Tom Cruise movie), Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (awesome animated movie), American Reunion (so nostalgic), No Time to Die (awesome James Bond movie), Baby (decent Bollywood action flick), Avengers Infinity War (forgot how good it was) and Love & Other Drugs. Severance this week was a good set-up for the finale, so many unanswered questions.
• Feeling ok this week. Not as good as last week given I missed a swim workout, felt slower in the pool and stomach was off for my long swim/bike day. But, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. The fact I ran 14k, did a 3k swim and biked 70k all in a weekend is a pretty great accomplishment I would’ve been so happy with at the beginning of this journey. A reminder we are our own worst critics and to give yourself more grace. Onto another big week.

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