ANISH KAUSHAL

Doctor | Writer | Investor

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The Way To Love

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The Way To Love
Anthony De Mello

Summary

From one of my favourite authors, how to add love in your life and learning to love yourself first

Rating: 4/5

Notes

There is only one cause of unhappiness - false beliefs in your head that you never question

Most people don’t know how unhappy they are - like the man in the dream who has no idea he’s dreaming

There is not a single moment in your life when you do not have everything you need to be happy

What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world or people around you but the thinking in your head

To be happy, you must first understand how you’ve been programmed

Almost every negative emotion you experience is the direct outcome of an attachment

To be genuinely happy, there’s one thing you need to do - get deprogrammed, get rid of those attachments

Your negative feelings about a person are not caused by them but you’re programming

An attachment is a state of clinignt hat comes from the fake belief that something or someone is necessary for your happiness

You must choose b/w your attachments and your happiness. You cannot have both

Ask yourself: where did your attachments come from?

Nothing or person outside of you has the power to make you happy or unhappy

Society has put these layers in your mind and let other people like politicians and experts do your thinking for you

Don’t hold onto ideas of someone because you judge them based on a label

To break out of this prison of the mind; first notice you’re in a prison then spend hours just observing your ideas, habits, attachments and fears with no judgments

Spend time really observing things around you then quietly observe how your mind reacts

The unaware life is not worth living

Change is only brought by awareness and understanding

Love is to be found only in fearlessness and freedom

Put your ideas and formulas aside as you dare to look at 3everything around you without fear and without formulas and it won’t be long before you see

Stop seeing people as good and bad or saints and sinners and begin to see them as unaware and ignorant

‘Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you’ - Luke 6:27

The cause of all of your irritations is not someone else but you

Every idea distorts reality and is a barrier to seeing reality

If you get caught up in the judgments of people around you, you are eating the fruit of tension, insecurity and anxiety because today when they call you beautiful, you are elated but tomorrow they’ll call you ugly and you’ll be depressed

Become too busy with the task of living to care about what others think, whether you are special or not. Only then you’ll become fearless and free

The first act of love is to see this person or object, this reality as it truly is

What you are so enamored with is in your head so let go

The orchestra is within you and you carry it wherever you go. The things and people outside you merely determine what melody the orchestra will play. But when nothing else is around, the orchestra will play music of its own

Every painful event contains in itself a seed of growth and liberation

As long as your happiness is caused or sustained by something or someone outside of you, you are still in the land of dead

Insecurity does not lie outside of you but within your programming that was taught by other insecure people when you were young and impressionable

When you resist death, you resist life

To think clearly, one must drop everything one has learned and achieve the mind of a child that is innocent of past experiences and programming

The most painful act is in the act of seeing. But it is in the act of seeing that love is born

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