Just because you’re good at one thing doesn’t mean you’re good at all things:
Just because you’re good at one thing, doesn’t mean you’re good at all things.
Rejection sucks.
I’ve had my fair share of it in my life yet I’m super thankful for it because it’s made me into the person I am today.
In my career, I’ve never taken rejection to heart because it’s not personal.
When you’re job hunting or reaching out to people, most of the time you’ll get rejected.
I sent 75 cold emails to get my job in VC and got 8 responses.
I didn’t care about the people who didn’t respond and only focused on those who did.
All you need is one to hit.
My issue in my life though has always been interacting with women.
Skipping a grade and being younger than everyone growing up, I never had success with women in elementary or high school.
I asked a few people out but was constantly rejected.
Even though I took chances, it always ended up in failure.
What’s weird is in my career I didn’t give a shit about a few rejections because there’s always more.
But with women, that shit stuck with me for a long time.
I know logically that just because a few women say no does not mean that all women say no.
But because it happened throughout childhood, it has always stuck with me.
I’ve been hesitant to make a move in the last few years because of those childhood experiences that have shaped my subconscious.
I’m currently seeing someone right now and even though we’ve been on several dates, I’ve still yet to make a move physically.
In my own head, I told myself there was never a moment where I could make a move but I know subconsciously there’s much more to it.
I’m afraid.
This girl likes me and I know it. So what am I waiting for?
I don’t know.
The devil inside me is so self-critical and telling me how much of an idiot I am.
The angel inside me is telling me there wasn’t a good time and to wait for the right moment.
I’m more on the devil’s side today, but the last few days have really made me think.
Just because you act a certain way in one domain in your life doesn’t mean that you’ll be great at all domains.
We all have our areas of expertise and our areas of weakness.
Academically I always shined. I can read and pick up concepts faster than most people. I have no problem walking into a room and start talking to people I’ve never met.
Yet with women, there’s always been this thing that has held me back.
I know how stupid it feels but I’ve begun to accept that you can’t be great at everything.
There are some things that are really hard to get over and others that come second nature.
That exists for everyone.
We all have the things we’re good at and the things we’re not.
Focus on your strengths and forget about your weaknesses.
But when you’re going through experiences where you feel out of place, look back at those experiences and figure out what went wrong.
Understand it, learn from it but then forget about it.
You can’t live in a world of what-ifs.
There are no what-ifs, there’s only reality.
All the ‘what ifs’ are in your head and thinking about it for a long time is not going to help you.
Don’t let your mistakes hold you back from growing and becoming a better person.
Get over your own fears in your head.
Yet here’s the paradox - how do you focus on what you’re good at while also trying to forget about your weaknesses, yet still improve on those weaknesses?
It’s a weird conundrum.
But you have to pick your battles.
For your weaknesses, defer to experts. Learn from them. Understand how they live their lives and what they would do in certain situations. Then just copy them.
It will feel weird and outside of your comfort zone, but that’s the point.
Growth only comes with discomfort.
Get outside of your head and go do things that make you uncomfortable.
Through that, you’ll figure out which things you’re good at and which things you’re not.
Just because you’re good at one thing doesn’t mean you’re good at all things