Let go

Let go:

Let go.

Let go of the validation.

Of the need for someone else to pat you on the back and tell you you’re doing a good job.

It will never come, at least not the way you expect.

Deep down, we’re all chasing our parent’s validation.

Validation that we’re doing the right thing, not disappointing them and trying to live up to their expectations of our life.

Let go.

Don’t let their expectations of your life hold you back from doing what you want.

So what you want to be a painter, dancer or writer when they’re expecting you to become a lawyer or doctor?

They grew up in a very different world.

The classic career paths like engineer, doctor or lawyer were what every immigrant parent wanted for their kids.

Work hard, get an education, pick a career path with brutal hours, work non-stop but make decent money to provide for your family.

To be fair, they’re not wrong.

For a lot of people, that life is great especially if you don’t come from a lot.

If your dad was a factory worker or your mom cleaned hotels her entire life, you becoming a doctor or lawyer is a huge deal.

It meant their sacrifice was worth it.

They walked so you could run.

You always have to appreciate that because their journey wasn’t easy.

But they also don’t understand how much the world has changed.

The jobs and careers that exist now have never existed before.

They have a tough time understanding careers that didn’t exist when they were growing up.

Society has changed in many ways, yet we’re all still all the same.

Human beings are irrational creatures trapped by their subconscious.

We’re all chasing someone else’s desire.

Recently had a conversation with my parents about the concept of mimetic desire, first described by a French philosopher named Rene Girard.

‘Man is the creature who does not know what to desire, and he turns to others in order to make up his mind. We desire what others desire because we imitate their desires.’

When I first heard this concept, it blew my mind.

Everything you want is because someone else wants it.

Why do we want designer clothes?

Because it makes us look rich and expensive. It gives us more clout in society’s eyes that we’re successful.

Why do we buy nice cars? Because other people like nice cars and if we have a nice car, other people will like us.

Why do we buy expensive watches like Rolex when you can buy a 5 dollar watch that has the exact same function?

Because Rolex is a popular brand that other people consider ‘successful.’

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Why do we choose the careers we want?

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Because we think those are desirable careers based on what we've heard about them from other people.

The reason I’m so intrigued by this idea is I recently read the Bhagavad Gita for the first time. 

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It’s a text written thousands of years ago and considered one of the scriptures of Hinduism.

One of the main concepts discussed is that to be free, you must let go of desire.

You cannot allow desire to pollute your mind.

We desire so much in life, but recently I’ve had to ask myself why.

Why do I want the things that I want?

What is it about these desires that makes me so driven by them?

Is it internal or am I really doing it for other people?

Are my desires really making me happy or miserable?

Naval has a great tweet about this:

‘Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.’

It’s fine to want desires, but how unhappy are you willing to be for those desires? Are they really going to fulfill you in the end?

Probably not.

So let go.