Look what you did

Look what you did:

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Look what you did.

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Look what you did for him.

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An Ironman.

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Anish Kaushal, you are officially an Ironman.

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No one can ever take that away from you.

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No matter how bad you think your time was.

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It doesn’t matter.

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You did it.

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You are an Ironman.

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You persevered.

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You trained.

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You showed up.

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Again and again.

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Only when it was you.

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When no one else was there at 5:30 am on the weekends.

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When no one else was around.

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When no one else showed up.

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You did.

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You climbed the mountain.

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You conquered one of the toughest endurance events in the world.

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A feat less than a million people have ever done since the 70s.

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You did it.

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Not just that, but you had your entire family cheering you on.

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30 people showed up for you.

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Even the guy who gave you your medal.

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You met him at a random work event years ago.

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Who knew he’d be the first one to congratulate you after becoming an Ironman.

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He’s one of the reasons you got there in the first place.

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The first one to introduce you to triathlon.

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To explain everything.

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To walk through what it was like.

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Think back to those moments.

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The dinner with him at Enoteca Sociale.

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Him showing you his Excel spreadsheet.

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Walking through his schedule.

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What workouts he was doing every day.

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What equipment he was buying.

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Talking about how he had a different closet because there were so many new clothes.

Then remember the night of the first NFL season last year.

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Talking to your friends from high school.

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The first day you convinced yourself you were gonna do this.

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They all said you were crazy.

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Everyone did.

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Including your parents.

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No way you could do it.

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3.8k swim.

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Then 180k bike.

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Then 42.2k run.

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All together with no breaks.

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They said do a half.

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But you said no.

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I want to do the full.

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And you did it.

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You fucking did it, man.

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Be proud of yourself.

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If you’re not proud of what you’ve done now, when else can you be?

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Look at what you’ve done.

Look at what you’ve achieved.

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Look how far you’ve come.

You started at zero. 

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7 months ago, you had never biked more than 10k.

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Hadn’t swam in 15 years.

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And stopped running 2 years ago.

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Now look.

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An Ironman.

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You are officially an Ironman.

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Those words don’t even feel real.

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Did I really do that?

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Really?

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Me?

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This formerly short chubby Indian guy who was always picked last for sports?

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No way.

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Not possible.

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But you did.

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15 hours after jumping in the Ottawa River.

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You became an Ironman.

Think about the day.

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Started off waking up at 4 am.

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Walking through downtown Ottawa with multiple bags that had some of your stuff for the day.

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You hopped on a yellow school bus with a bike pump, banana and another bag sitting next to some random old guy.

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30 minutes later and you get to the beach at 5:30 am where it’s packed.

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Thousands of people there.

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You go to your bike, put down your fluids, check your tires and walk back out to see your mom, dad, brother and friends there.

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You run over to the beach just to check the water.

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Then you’re waiting in line when more of your support crew start to arrive.

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People who traveled from far came up to take pictures of you in the middle of the line.

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Waiting to start your swim.

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Then you turn around and see the sunrise.

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A sunrise I’ll never forget.

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Music’s blasting.

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People cheering.

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And you just want to get in the water to start.

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You start.

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People are everywhere around you.

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You get kicked a few times.

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Ankles get grabbed.

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But you find your groove.

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Then you hit a sand barge in the middle of the swim.

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People start walking.

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So you do the same because it’s so shallow.

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Right when you’re about to start swimming again, you step on a sharp rock.

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You cut your foot in the first hour.

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Bleeding coming out of the water.

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Couldn’t walk on it.

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In pain while your entire support crew is yelling at you, cheering you on.

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Meanwhile, you’re just in pain.

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Then you run into the change tent and start stripping naked with every other male athlete.

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This was not what I had in mind.

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Yet here you were.

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Getting everything on.

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Making sure you don’t forget anything.

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Got your bike ready.

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Still hear the crew cheering.

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When you’re about to get on the bike and you tell your dad you cut your foot.

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Meanwhile he’s telling you to get a new time chip.

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Like what? Ahahaha. 

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One of the funniest videos of the day.

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Here are you are struggling and meanwhile, all he’s thinking about is ‘how come your device is broken?’

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How am I going to follow you otherwise?

Then it’s hop on the bike.

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Felt good coming up the hill out of the park.

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Then boom.

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Being passed.

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Left and right.

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Fit guys.

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Young guys.

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Old guys.

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Then grandmas.

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Ladies in their 60s.

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Zooming by you.

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But you kept pushing.

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Kept going.

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10k in, you hit a bump and boom.

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Your cap on your fluid compartment fell off.

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Gone.

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Now there’s sticky carb fluid splashing all over you and your bike.

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And you’ve barely begun.

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But you kept peddling.

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All of a sudden you’re 80k into it.

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Now your hands are starting to feel weird.

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Those gloves from the day before.

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The ones you bought on sale because you thought they had more padding.

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Turns out they sucked.

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Now your fingers are numb.

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You look down at your Garmin watch and you have 100k left.

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100 kilometres.

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That used to be your longest ride.

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Still left.

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But you keep peddling.

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You take your breaks.

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You watch a crash happen in front of you and a guy breaks his leg.

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Meanwhile, you just keep riding.

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Stick to your tempo.

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All of a sudden your hands start to feel worse.

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Still 50k left so you start putting them in a different position.

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Way better.

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But you can’t hold it for that long.

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So you switch between pain and numbness from comfort for 2 hours.

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Then you get off your bike.

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Your crew is screaming.

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Everyone is so happy to see you.

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Meanwhile, you can’t feel both your pinkies.

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You can’t open your hands.

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Your ulnar nerve is compressed in both hands.

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Now you have to change into another outfit but you can’t grip.

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You can’t grab your clothes.

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You can’t even open your hands to put on sunscreen.

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You’re nervous.

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Scared.

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Shit, Wtf is going on.

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I’ve never had this before.

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But you keep persisting.

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You get out of the transition tent when your crew is there again.

Cheering you on.

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The loudest cheers that anyone got.

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They’re all here for you.

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Here to see you succeed.

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Here to cheer you on.

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Here to support your journey.

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So you keep going.

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7 minutes running.

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3 minutes walking.

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For the whole marathon.

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Just stick to that.

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Thanks Jesse Itzler.

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You saved my Ironman.

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Legs felt good.

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But my hands.

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Still couldn’t feel them.

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Left one started to get a bit better, but not the right one.

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You keep running.

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7 minutes on.

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3 minutes off.

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10k goes.

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Then the turn comes.

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The halfway point.

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A guy comes up next to you and asks.

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‘So you’re almost done?’

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I answered ‘Nope, I still got half left.’

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‘I’m about to finish.’

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And that’s when the grind starts.

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The mental battle.

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Most people are walking towards the finish line, while you have another half-marathon left.

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But you keep pushing.

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Every 20 minutes - Gu Gel.

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Had 15 of them up till that point.

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They were disgusting.

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Nauseous every time you had them.

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The taste never got better.

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And now they were warm.

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Gross.

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Sticky.

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But every 20 minutes, you forced them down.

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Every hour, 2 salt tablets.

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Like clockwork.

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Along the way, you see people passed out.

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People on the side vomiting.

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People who can barely walk properly, so much so that they’re waddling.

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Then you hit the 30k point.

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You stop at an aid station.

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Hands still numb.

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Sore everywhere.

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When you stop to drink water.

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2 volunteers start talking to you.

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‘Well done.

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Almost there.’

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Then one of them asks.

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‘What time did you start this morning?’

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‘I got into the water at 6:40.

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By this point, it’s been 13.5 hours since I started.

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Then she asked.

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‘What made you decide to do this?

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‘Which sport out of the 3 did you use to do a lot?’

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Then I told her.

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7 months ago I started at zero.

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But I decided to do it on behalf of my cousin who passed away a few years ago.

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He was my role model.

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So I decided to raise money on his behalf and try to achieve this goal.

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To become an Ironman.

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I had raised 23 thousand dollars up till then.

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I thought I would struggle to raise 5.

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Look at that.

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Now here I was, 10k before the finish line, talking to strangers about what I had just done.

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She said, ‘Incredible.

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Go celebrate that.

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That’s an amazing achievement.’

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Then it hit me.

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I think I can actually do this.

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I’m almost there.

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Up till then, that thought never crossed my mind.

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That I could actually be an Ironman.

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I was just so focused on the next thing.

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Getting to the next rest station.

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Getting to the next spot.

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Just never stopping.

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But then it was coming to me.

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This is possible.

When I got the last motivation I needed.

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Sachit’s kid found me under a bridge just after the sun had set.

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Him and his mom came to see me on the course.

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They gave me a big hug and said Keep going.

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Then they started running.

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Running with me for a few kilometres.

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So much so that Ravi actually got a blister.

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I had 5k left.

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I was almost there.

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Then the last tunnel just before the big hill.

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The entire support crew was there.

Screaming.

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Cheering me on as I hit the last few kilometres.

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I had almost done it.

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Finished the last rest station.

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Walked up the hill.

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Ran across parliament and headed to the last stretch.

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The last kilometre.

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Ran through the finish line.

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When they announced it.

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‘Anish Kaushal.

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You.

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Are.

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An.

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Ironman.’

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All I could do was throw my hands up and thank the heavens.

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Thank you god.

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Thank you Sachit.

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I’m not here without you.

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I didn’t get here with your support.

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Came across the finish line when my friend I mentioned before put the medal on me.

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Nuts.

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Was this even real?

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Did I actually do this?

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3.8k swim, 180k bike then 42k run.

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All together in one day?

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Really?

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Me?

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No way.

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Still didn’t hit me.

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Walked through the finish line, got some gear, took a photo, had some chicken broth and fries when I saw the whole support crew.

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Everyone was there at the end.

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30 people wearing their bright red shirts that said ‘Team Anish, In Honour of Sachit’

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Cheering me on.

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Congratulating me.

All there to see me achieve this feat.

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This dream.

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To become an Ironman.

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And I did it.

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I achieved it.

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Unreal.

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Truly unreal.

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Still didn’t feel real.

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Until now.

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Sitting in my bed.

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The day after.

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Legs sore.

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Hands still numb.

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Can’t walk properly.

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Cut on my foot.

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Late at night with everyone asleep.

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Looking back through the photos and videos of the weekend.

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Thinking about him.

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About Sachit.

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About how much he would’ve loved to have been there this weekend.

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I miss him.

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I miss him a lot.

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Even now, I can’t stop crying.

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He should’ve been there.

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And the world took him away too soon.

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That’s life.

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Cherish every moment you have with the people you love.

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Because one day, it’ll all be gone too soon.

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At the same time, I have to remind myself.

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Look what you did.

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Look what you achieved.

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Look how far you came.

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Anish Kaushal, you are an Ironman.

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Words I never thought possible.

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Ever.

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I’ve been hard on myself my whole life.

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Always thinking I should be doing more.

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Achieving more.

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Being more.

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I’ve always felt like I’m not enough.

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That there is more I should be doing.

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It’s gotten me to where I am.

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But it’s also held me back.

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Held me back from enjoying the achievements.

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The moments like this.

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I’ve already started thinking about my next challenge.

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‘Job’s not done yet’ as Kobe would say.

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But it is.

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You’ve done it.

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You are an Ironman.

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You’ve reached mountain tops that people can’t even imagine.

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You did it.

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No one else did.

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And look at who you brought along the way.

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Look at who you inspired.

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Look at what you showed people.

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Look at how much money you raised.

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That you can truly do anything you set your mind to.

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A year ago you thought about becoming an Ironman.

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Everyone thought you were insane.

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Now look at you.

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Brought a family together in a city you grew up going to every Thanksgiving, cheering you on as you conquered one of the greatest endurance races in the world.

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You swam 3.8k.

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You biked 180k.

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Then you ran a marathon.

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And you did it all in honour of your late cousin.

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Your role model.

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The guy who inspired you to be you.

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You raised 23 thousand dollars for him.

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And inspired countless other people along the way.

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Be proud of yourself man.

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You did it.

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You earned it.

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No one can ever take it away from you.

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No matter where you end up in life.

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You’ll always know.

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You are officially an Ironman.

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Congrats dude!

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Look what you did.

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