The quest of enoughness:
The quest of enoughness.
The never-ending quest.
Do you have enough?
Have you done enough?
Are you enough?
Most don’t believe they are.
Me especially.
Always chasing.
Always looking.
Always seeking.
Listened to a podcast this week with Arthur Brooks and Tim Ferriss.
Arthur has studied happiness for his career.
And he talked about two types of personas.
The Seeker.
And the Present.
Successful people are chronic seekers.
Chronic doers.
Always going.
Always working.
Always chasing.
They’re never fully happy.
Meanwhile, the present people are chilling.
Living their life.
Living in their hometown.
Working their normal job.
Going to church on Sundays.
Coaching their kids' baseball team.
They’re content.
Content where they are.
Not chasing.
Not endlessly running on the hamster wheel.
They’re just content.
They have enough.
That’s where I want to get to one day.
Think most people do.
When you feel enough.
But it’s hard.
Especially being brought up in a house that can’t deal with enough.
Like most of us.
My dad is a worker.
Always on the phone.
Always thinking.
Always strategizing.
He’s had a 35-year career at the peak of his game.
Long hours.
Lots of days away from his family.
Grinding.
Working.
Chasing.
Chasing the big dream.
The car.
The house.
The watch.
He has all of that now.
More than he could have ever dreamed of.
Yet he’s still chasing.
Still working.
Still dreaming.
Deep down, he knows he has enough.
But he can’t tell himself that.
He can’t let go.
Let go of the kid inside of him.
The one who was doubted.
Mocked.
Made fun of.
The one who had to work.
Who couldn’t afford luxuries.
Who had to take care of his sisters.
Who’s parents immigrated from around the world.
Who had to be a leader in the family.
He was the one people didn’t look twice at.
So he had a dream as a kid.
A dream to achieve all the things he wanted.
And he got it.
And more.
Only the kid is still there.
It always will be.
For all of us.
Even as we age, we’re all just big kids.
Adults trying to satisfy our childhood selves.
The person who wasn’t enough.
Who was traumatized.
Or neglected.
Or rejected.
Or not loved.
That kid is still inside us.
Those feelings are still inside us.
It makes us who we are.
Oprah told the world it with Dr. Bruce Perry.
Still one of the greatest books I’ve ever read.
Will teach you more about your subconscious and yourself than anything else.
It explains how we’re all just products of our environment.
Especially when we’re 0-5.
Those little children inside of us never leave.
They stay dormant.
Always there.
Subconsciously directing your personality.
Your emotions.
How you are.
How you act.
How you react to things.
I know his subconscious was filled with struggle.
It was turmoil.
It was uncomfortable.
So he pushed.
And keeps pushing.
Keeps going.
Can’t stop.
Same for me.
Have this drive like him.
Can’t stop.
Won’t stop.
Keep going.
Keep chasing.
Always working.
Always thinking.
I may die tomorrow.
Then what?
Was this all worth it?
Was I really happy?
Did I stay present?
I don’t know.
Some days I feel like I’ve figured it out.
I’ve realized what it means to be present.
To enjoy pancakes with your sister.
Or dive with turtles.
Or watch two kids throw a ball around in a pool.
Some days I think, this is it.
This is what I’m working for.
To be exactly where I am.
And yet.
It doesn’t stop.
I’m always going.
Always thinking.
Always working.
For the future.
The future that doesn’t exist.
It’s hard being present.
Hard being where you are.
Hard getting to enough.
Like me, you’ll fight it your whole life.
But one day you’ll realize.
You were always enough.
Even then, I’m still on the quest of enoughness.
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